Welcome to my LiveJournal. I'm a science fiction writer with a growing collection of published short stories, and my collection Unwelcome Bodies is currently available from Apex Publications. It includes, among other stories, "Captive Girl," which was a 2007 Nebula finalist and which made the 2007 Gaylactic Spectrum Awards short list. I started this journal to have a place to talk about writing and the writing life, although you'll probably notice various digressions into belly dance and politics.

Please note that anonymous comments that aren't signed will be deleted.

Today was an ill-timed sick day. I missed work, missed dance class, and missed troupe practice. And, of course, Melina's mother Rhea was going to be co-teaching the dance class tonight, which I missed, and now we've only got one troupe practice before the performance on Sunday.

Way to go, immune system.

But about an hour ago, I started feeling well enough that I was finally able to whip my WIP into good enough shape to share with my writing group. I don't need to hand it off until Sunday, so I'll sit on it until then, just in case I get further ideas on how to improve it.

Also, I think we'll do fine on Sunday with just the one rehearsal. Two would have been better, but oh well.

Hopefully, I'll get a full night's sleep tonight. Last night? Not so much.

I was looking at pictures of vitiligo sufferers online, and it occurs to me that the only way I'd be able to tell that I had it would be if the freckles on my arms started disappearing. The disease seems to take people with pigment in their skin and turn them my color. And I mean *exactly* my color. Although it can apparently affect your hair as well, so perhaps I'll just blame my grays on vitiligo ;)

(Why, yes, I am doing random web surfing to cleanse my brain between story drafts. Why do you ask?)

Please, oh great and merciful Flying Spaghetti Monster, please touch WisCon and everyone in it with your noodly appendage and spare us Swine Flu this year. We already suffered mightily from the norovirus last year, and would really like to have an enjoyable and healthy convention this year. We understand that there will be con crud of some kind, but please, oh all-powerful and wriggly one, please keep it minor and low-key enough so as to not merit the attention of the local public health department.

Ramen.

My leg is feeling much better today, although the real test will be getting in and out of the car. That's when it hurts the most. I babied it yesterday with rest and ibuprofin and icy gel, and will rest it again today. If it continues to improve, then I'll go back to working out tomorrow, but only in ways that don't hurt. My leg strengthening exercises are definitely on hold for a while, and there'll be no straddle stretches for a while either. Gah, mystery injuries suck.

But on the plus side, I got through two more chapters of Machine edits last night. That leaves me with only seven to go.

I appear to have done something rather painful to a muscle (or perhaps a tendon) near my hip socket. It started bothering me several hours after dance class last night, where we did nothing new and unusual, so I'm not sure how it happened. I mostly felt it when I was trying to sleep last night. And, of course, it's in the opposite hip of the mild groin pull I suffered a couple of weeks ago, so I can't blame that for it.

Ah well. I'll take this as an opportunity to focus exclusively on writing tonight without any guilt over not getting in dance practice (although I could do the Rachel Brice arms DVD...hmm...).

ETA: And when I got up from the computer, I discovered that immobility, or at least, immobility in my traditional laptop-using position, made a muscle on the outside of that thigh hurt like a son of a bitch. This will make writing more difficult. Maybe I'll try to write somewhere else in the house, using the little lap desk I bought so I could try to be ergonomically good for my wrists while sitting in a chair.

I wish there were a way to tell my body, "Thank you so much for fighting off that nasty virus. I'm all better now, so please shut off the mucus factory, okay?"

My body might disagree, but I've had enough of this shit. This stupid cold first hit me on Monday afternoon and left me sick through final dress rehearsals, through our performance at the Orpheum, through New Year's Eve, through my wedding anniversary, and through this weekend. A couple of days ago, I started slowly introducing exercise back into my routine, but at a low level, due to my severely reduced lung capacity and tendency to start coughing at inopportune moments. Starting tomorrow, the babying ends.

What brought this on? I ordered four bellydance DVDs right after Christmas, and was only feeling well enough to try one as of this afternoon, so I pulled out the Rachel Brice Arms and Posture DVD since it didn't seem like it would be too taxing on my lungs. It includes a couple of thigh strength exercises, nothing crazy really (well, there is the option to do a crazy one, but my body isn't flexible enough to pull it off), and once they were over and I had to go into dance posture, my left thigh started trembling uncontrollably.

No more of this shit. I will not let my strength and flexibility deteriorate any further. Tomorrow, I get right back into my AM strength and stretching routines, and will do an evening workout of some sort as well -- perhaps another of the DVDs, perhaps 40 minutes of low-impact aerobics. I've babied my body long enough.

And for those who are interested, the Rachel Brice DVD isn't bad, but isn't super, which is exactly what I'd heard from other sources. But any DVD where she explains, even a little bit, how she makes her arms look like that is worth my attention. I'm having a hard time getting my arms and wrists coordinated (my wrists keep wanting to drop too soon -- this happened to me on the Asherah DVD as well), but I'll get there.

Last night, I was so congested that I could only manage three hours of sleep, which lets me know exactly what kind of cold this is going to be. It means I'll have similar difficulty sleeping tonight, although I'll manage a few more hours of unconsciousness than last night, and then the cold will move into my chest. I've already got a slight throat tickle, but that'll change into more serious tickling, combined with a wet cough.

Just in time for tomorrow's performance :P

Tomorrow evening, I'll be fighting it with a decongestant, cough drops, mint tea, cough medicine (if necessary), and a nip of whiskey. I'll be wearing so much makeup that any Irish tan will be invisible to the audience. It really will be just a nip. I don't want to be at all inebriated on stage, but I do want my throat and chest to be soothed, and whiskey is really good for that.

Oh, and we made Boston.com's top 10 First Night performances!

http://www.boston.com/travel/boston/gallery/firstnightpicks2008?pg=10

What they don't mention is that at 6:45, we'll be doing an interactive Foley demonstration for the kiddies.

And in unrelated news, Arisia sent me my preliminary schedule, and I'm on 10 panels, which includes the Broad Universe reading and my own solo reading. I've asked to be dropped from two. If nothing else, it was looking awfully daunting to be scheduled for three one-hour panels in a row on Sunday evening. With any luck, I'll be done with the coughing part of this cold by then. And that will take luck. I have a nasty tendency to hang onto coughs for a month :P

I think I'm coming down with a cold. Just in time for the performance on New Year's eve. Bleurgh.

I feel fine today. Which is to say that my neck and shoulders are back to their usual state of tension and discomfort, and the tendinitis has faded into the background.

Tomorrow, I see how the car fared. I suspect it's fine, but we'll see.

I just got back from seeing my doctor, who poked and prodded me, checked my reflexes, made me push my head against her hand and squeeze her fingers, and declared that I should be fine in time. She sees no signs of whiplash whatsoever. Also, she said I've been doing everything right to treat it (including the whiskey last night), and the fact that I feel better today than I did last night is an excellent sign. I've been cleared to keep up with my dance classes, provided I'm smart about the moves that I do. This means no head-tossing in tonight's class. So I'll stick to dance and walking and perhaps some light yoga until I feel better.

I have an appointment to see my doctor at noon, despite the fact that I feel significantly better this morning. I'm going to do my best to take frequent breaks at work today to walk around and keep things moving. Also? I took more ibuprofin immediately upon waking up. I'll hold off on another dose until after I see the doctor.

I decided to research whiplash on WebMD, and it advises that I call 911 from the accident site and have an ambulance come out and get me.

Because I have Google in my car and the first thing I did upon being rearended was look up whiplash.

*shaking head...gently*

I'm putting an icy gel on the muscles of my neck, per the site's recommendation that I ice the area. I've also taken more ibuprofin. And I'm going to do my best to sit up and move around every time I wake up overnight. I definitely tensed up on the right side when I was hit, because I'm having a mild tendonitis flare-up in my right wrist and I've got soreness in my right thigh. But again, movement makes the pain vanish. I got up to show Andy the combo I learned in class tonight, and nothing hurt as I did it.

This might occasion calling in sick tomorrow. Sitting immobile at a desk might just be the stupidest thing I could do for my body. We shall see how I feel come morning.

This week's fitness plans have gone out the window, for lo, I was rearended on the way to my tribal bellydance class tonight. The car's fine, minus some scrapes on the bumper, and I'm mostly fine. A little stiff, but so far fine. I'm glad I kept on driving to class, because movement was exactly what I needed. I didn't feel at all sore once we started dancing. When I got back in the car, I could feel it again. I've taken ibuprofin, and I'm about to take a hot shower and have a stiff drink.

No pushups for the next several days, that's for sure. I probably won't be walking to work tomorrow either, but we'll see how I feel in the morning. Depending on how I feel tomorrow night, I may or may not go to dance class, and if I do go, I'm not doing the head toss in our choreography.

The car needs to go in to the shop for an oil change and to have the steering looked at as it is, so I'll have them look to make sure nothing got damaged that isn't immediately apparent. And regardless, I'm filling out an accident report. (By the way, the woman who rearended me wasn't so lucky -- her hood buckled.)

And this probably puts the kibosh on getting any writing done. I don't want to lock my neck and shoulders up into any one position for too long. Just what I need, another excuse not to write.

Don't worry -- I'll see a doctor if things get worse.

So I've started the One Hundred Push Up Challenge all over again this morning, this time doing good-form push ups. I can't get nearly as close to the floor as I could with the modified push ups -- well, not if I want to get back up again. It's humbling how much fewer of them I can do than the modified ones. We'll see how this goes.

Morton's neuroma -- a painful thickening of the tissue around the base of one (or more) of the nerves leading to the toes.

Essentially, I'm to avoid high heels, wear good shoes with pads under the balls of both of my feet, and use either ice or heat to treat it if the pain gets too aggravating. If it doesn't get any better in a month, I can try a cortisone shot (bleurgh). Belly dance classes should be fine, although they will likely cause this to take longer to improve. I may see if dancing in my jazz shoes helps any.

I'm glad I insisted on seeing a doctor other than my own so I could get in quicker. I ended up seeing a nurse practitioner who has this problem occasionally herself. I was similarly lucky the last time I went in with foot pain and ended up seeing the doctor who had plantar fasciitis and could not only diagnose me, but give me the sports medicine treatment that got him to be able to resume running regularly again.

I'm two weeks into the 100 push-up challenge, and I'm doing pretty well. However, I'm going to start over at the beginning and do regular push-ups instead of modified ones. These two weeks of modified push-ups have gotten me to the point where the switch should be possible. It'll mean a drastic reduction in the number that I'll be able to pull off, but I'm okay with that. If nothing else, it will be better for my knees.

Right, off to do some yoga. I've got a doctor's appointment at 10:30 about some mystery pain in my toe, so I took the morning off from work. A little yoga, some shopping for a nice pair of flat shoes for the weddings I'm going to this month (one's tomorrow -- I strongly suspect my toe pain will only be aggravated by heels; one's at the end of the month -- it's outdoors in a field which I have been told is not friendly to high heels), and then hopefully a diagnosis that doesn't end with, "And you should most definitely not take the two bellydance classes a week that you've already paid for and are starting next week."

The writing's chugging along nicely, and I've even figured out a nice little subplot to stick in to pad things out, so I'm pleased. I didn't get any writing in yesterday, so I may try for another 1K later today as well.

This will be made easier by the fact that I may not be able to work out today. Since yesterday, I've had soreness at the base of one of the toes on my left foot. I feel fine if I walk around in sneakers, but barefoot is a problem. So I may not be able to get in any bellydance practice today. And while I could theoretically take a long walk in my sneakers, I'd hate to get far from the house only to discover that no, I really shouldn't have done that. But I may attempt to do a little isolations practice. I think I can pull that off without aggravating whatever's going on in my foot.

So I'm doing the One Hundred Pushups Challenge (http://hundredpushups.com/), not because I think I'll be able to do one hundred good-form pushups at the end of six weeks, but because I want to actually work up to being able to do good pushups rather than heavily modified ones. I'm currently doing them super modified and feeling like a total wuss because even with modifications, I'm still several inches from the ground when I go as low as I can.

Just now, my husband decided to see if he could still do good-form pushups, and did a couple.

"That's not right," I said. "You're not going all the way to the ground."

"You're not supposed to go all the way to the ground. That's cheating."

"It says right on the web page that a good-form pushup has you lowering yourself to the ground."

"Tell that to my drill sergeants. You're only supposed to go down far enough that your arms are bent at a right angle. Going all the way to the floor means you're taking a moment to rest, and they'd chew you out for that."

So, who to believe, a web site, or the drill sergeants who terrorized my husband back in the 1980s? I have to say, believing the drill sergeants is very tempting, because that means my pushups aren't as crappy as I'd feared.

I finally exercised for the first time since WisCon. Yoga, to be exact (hence the icon). And it went pretty well, although I had to forgo a few strength moves (no plank, for example). My flexibility has also taken a hit, which sucks. But I'm hoping to get some bellydance drills in later today, and some cardio tomorrow, and with any luck will be back to normal in another few days. My stomach still complains a bit when I eat, but I'm just about up to normal-sized portions again.

I have also completely failed to get my husband sick, so that's a huge relief. If it's really norovirus, I'm still theoretically contagious, but by most standards, I'm past the actively contagious stage unless I'm really sloppy in the bathroom. (And since I haven't, er, "moved" since Tuesday, even that's a non-issue.)